Alone All Along
by Cathamaria
Summary: A spirit seeking out the Cards of Clow wants to destroy Sakura’s power, but Xiao Lang gets in the way. When the Card Mistress hides the truth from herself, will she be able to find it again?


**Alone All Along**

_An unfamiliar aura rises from the Li temple well, drawing a dark fate over Hong Kong. A spirit seeking out the Cards of Clow wants to destroy Sakura's power, but Xiao Lang gets in the way. When the Card Mistress hides the truth from herself, will she be able to find it again?_

"_Sakura!" She heard Xiao Lang's voice call out to her, but the strike had been launched. With a cry, she closed her eyes and plunged into the black abyss._

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, so don't sue, cuz you won't get anything. Cardcaptors and all the characters belong to Clamp, not me. There, I said it; happy now?

Dedicated to: My friend Jeremy from LCS. I know we could sit through hours (or classes, or phone bills) on end and obsess over Cardcaptor Sakura. :) And it's always fun... Until I realize that I forgot to that ridiculously inane math assignment or that I owe $57 more than usual on my monthly phone bill... oh well. ;) This is my first full sakura fanfic and I know it's not the greatest, and it's really angsty... and it hardly makes sense... but please don't kill me.

Note: Songfic, "My Immortal" by Evanescence.

Another note: Xiao Lang Syaoran (I just felt like using his Chinese name here.)

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"Clow Reed..." a voice whispered upon the autumn winds, quiet yet haunting, as it sought freedom to the world once of a great magician. "Clow Reed..." It was calling, searching, longing, for the power that had been sealed into a set of cards so many years before. The power and the cards that could not be stolen from the hand of the great magician who had created them. "Clow Reed..."

The storm clouds thickened as the voice rose, until the name Clow Reed echoed against the voice of the rolling thunder, spreading for miles across Hong Kong. Emerald eyes met amber, but the fear that resonated from them was silenced. Both young magicians felt the dark aura surrounding the Li Temple well, and both knew that Clow had been dead for years. Now they were the ones who had to protect the cards. They were the ones who were in danger; they were the ones who had to have courage.

"Clow Reed..."

Like a beast awakening from slumber, the thunder echoed, and the ground began to shake. In one magnificent flash of lightning, like an outreached claw across the sky, Mandetsu's fury was released into the storm, and the city plunged into darkness. Yes, the damned had come. Mandetsu's spirit had broken free of the well. So many years had passed since his fated battle with Clow Reed—so many years had passed since the magician from Old England had bested him and banished him into the nether realms. Now it was Mandetsu's turn. He would have his revenge. Hong Kong, now veiled with radiating darkness, could only hear the vengeful laughter echoing through the blackness. And for two young magicians, a fate worse than banishment to the nether worlds awaited them both.

"Xiao Lang, be careful," Sakura whispered. "It's too dark. Please wait." She held tightly to his hand, and in the blackness that surrounded them both, Xiao Lang turned to face the Card Mistress. She still loved him. Perhaps, this fight was the final one—the final obstacle that kept them separated. After this they would be together.

"There's no time. Mandetsu will come seeking the Clow Cards. He's hunting, and we're the prey. But if we find him first—if we lure him out, perhaps..."

"Then at least wait for Light," she pleaded, silently summoning the card form her hand. "We can't see anything in the dark... Light, release." And there was light, brilliant like the midday sun. Like a crystal blade, it cut through the darkness, and revealed the hidden city. And there, before them, appeared Mandetsu. His robes flowed like water suspended in mid-air, coloured a deep, haunting green and adorned with Chinese jade. His eyes saw all, and he knew that the Cards of Clow lay before him. He knew that this girl had them—that this girl was the one who commanded them now... Xiao Lang knew it also.

"So," Mandetsu hissed, "Clow no longer lives, but the cards do... Give them to me." He floated to the ground in front of Sakura, ignoring the amber-eyed magician all together. He outstretched a hand, his thin, bony fingers reaching for Sakura. "Give them to me, girl." The fear in Sakura's eyes ignited once again, and she jumped back, summoning another card.

"No," she whispered, "you can't have them." Her staff transformed into Sword, and like a warrior, she stood ready to battle by blade.

"Foolish girl."

"Sakura, look out!" Xiao Lang shouted and Mandetsu lunged. On Fly's unfailing wings the Cherry Blossom and the Little Wolf took flight into the dark skies, and it was there that they did battle against Mandetsu's vengeance. In that one final moment, they had matched and bested Mandetsu's power as Clow had done, but this time, Mandetsu would not go silently alone into the dark. "Sakura!" She heard Xiao Lang's voice call out to her, but the strike had been launched. With a cry, she closed her eyes and plunged into the black abyss. Xiao Lang's voice did not call to her again.

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I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

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"Are you remembering, Sakura?" Keroberos asked, approaching the Mistress. She was sitting in the courtyard of the Li's Temple, on a flat rock beneath the willows. The shadows hid her face from view, but the Guardian knew what he would find if she turned around. Like a sculpture giving illusion to reality, she sat motionless, staring into her reflection on the glassy water. One tear fell, causing a lonely ripple in the pond. "Sakura..."

The magician girl did not look up. She continued to stare into the water, wondering. Seventeen summers she'd only seen, but her world had been destroyed. Was it destined to be this way? Was it supposed to happen? Was it fate that Xiao Lang, the one person who'd sworn he'd be there for her always, would be the one to leave her alone? She closed her eyes. "No," Sakura answered her thoughts. "He didn't leave me alone..." Her voice trailed on the winds, and Keroberos bowed his head.

"Sakura..."

"He didn't leave me alone," she repeated again, battling now with her own tears. "He couldn't have. He was never really there."

Keroberos' eyes widened. "Sakura, how could you say that?" The Guardian Beast shot her a look of surprise and abhorrence, but something in her eyes when he met her gaze caused him to silence. He spoke nothing more, folding his great wings behind his back. There was something in those emerald depths that scared him—it was almost daring him to challenge her.

"It's true, Kero," she mumbled, her eyes changing again, growing dark. She trailed one hand in the clear water, watching the ripples spread and disperse before the glassy pond fell still again. Like a faint entity, her voice was barely audible; it was almost as if she were speaking to herself and not to Keroberos. "All these years... I thought I'd found him—he was always there—but in truth, he wasn't there at all, was he?" She closed her eyes as something painful washed over her heart. She finally understood...

"I've been alone all along." Another tear fell into the pond.

"Sakura, you've never been alone," Keroberos told her, almost harshly, but something inside him questioned it. She did not reply to him, and he lowered his head silently.

"It is true, Mistress," Yue whispered. He had been sitting in the willows, watching the Card Mistress suffer, not knowing what he could do. As the Guardian Beast, he too, felt helpless. He was the Moon Guardian, and just as the moon cannot shine when it is covered by the clouds, he could not fight the darkness when the Card Mistress gave in to it. "You've never been alone, Mistress," he whispered, unknowing of what else he could say. "And you are not alone now."

"But I was and I am," she countered, not lifting her eyes from the pond. "He said he'd always be there. He said he'd never leave me. But it was an illusion, wasn't it?" Neither Guardian replied. "If it was not an illusion, then he would not be gone now. All these years... I've been fooling myself, thinking that I had someone by my side that I could entrust my heart to... But in truth, I've been alone."

Keroberos stepped closer to the magician girl he'd chosen as the Card Captor seven years before. "I'm sorry, Sakura," he whispered slowly, painfully. He found he could not look up at her. "I'm sorry I couldn't have prevented this. I'm sorry that I couldn't have helped."

"It's alright, Kero. No one can control fate." Her emerald eyes wandered off into the stars. "Do you remember?"

"Yes, Sakura, yes."

_...On Fly's unfailing wings the Cherry Blossom and the Little Wolf took flight into the dark skies, and it was there that they did battle against Mandetsu's vengeance..._

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Theses wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just to much that time cannot erase

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"Give me the Cards!" Mandetsu's voice was like thunder, and Sakura cringed to hear it echoing so close behind her. Xiao Lang held tightly one hand on Sakura, the other clutching to the winged staff. Behind them Mandetsu was giving chase, but Fly's powerful wings against his floating magic, he could not seem to gain upon them. "Give me the Cards!" the spirit yelled again, and lightning, a bright electric blue, fell from the sky like deadly spears. Sakura screamed, but Fly dodged the death that threatened the two magicians. Xiao Lang turned around to see Mandetsu fall farther behind. "Damn you!" And suddenly darkness exploded, more blinding than light.

"Sakura, look!" Xiao Lang had his eyes fixed on the blackness behind them. Something within it seemed to grow, and change shape... When the dark fog cleared, he knew something deadly had befallen them. But at all costs, he would protect Sakura. The magician girl turned as well, noticing Xiao Lang's grip had tightened apprehensively. No longer was there a voice chasing them, but a rapturous roar. Mandetsu had transformed himself into a sky dragon.

"Oh no, Xiao Lang!" With a set of his own wings, and the slender, coiling form of a dragon in flight, Mandetsu could easily keep up with Fly. The Card began to strain in order to save the life of its Mistress, but all its efforts had no avail. When the dragon began its attack, and the buildings that surrounded them began to fall, they knew they could run no longer. Hong Kong could not fall because of their failure.

"Fly, return!" On top of the highest building, they made their stance. It was there that it truly began. "Windy!"

The binding loops of Windy surrounded Mandetsu's form, coiling tighter as the angry dragon struggled. For a few moments it could not move. "Lord of Thunder!" From Xiao Lang's blade flew the elegant beast, swift and graceful it struck like lightning, and Mandetsu cried out. But it continued to fight, and from Windy's binds it broke free. "Sakura!" The magician girl grabbed hold of the defeated Card, sending out another to battle.

"Release, Shadow! Fiery!" They battled then, returning to the graceful yet violent dance that was their fight. A magnificent torrent of magic arose, the dark cloak of Shadow twining with Fiery's rapturous temper, and clashing with the dragon's own. Their power was enough to set ablaze the night sky and then cast it into shadow, but once again the defeated Cards returned to the hand of their Mistress. The magicians were beginning to fail.

"We are not defeated yet!" Sakura screamed, with tears of frustration twinned with relief slipping down her cheeks. She glanced into the distance and knew they were not finished. Like the morning and evening stars, on the horizon appeared two points of light; one fierce and golden like a fiery sun, the other pale and shimmering like the radiant moon. On wings of gold and silver rode the Guardians of Clow and they were coming to heed their Mistress's silent cries for help. "We have only just begun! You will not have the Cards!" In mere moments Xiao Lang and Mandetsu both knew Sakura's words were true.

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When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

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"We came but soon we found we could not help where we were needed the most." The Guardian Beast bowed his head, silently begging his Mistress's pardon. She acknowledged him with a tiny smile.

"But you tried. We tried, and in the end fate was the one who decided the outcome. Not you or I, but fate. What happened was destined to be, and that is all that matters Kero, that's all that matters..." The moon's reflection in the water was broken by another falling tear. Though many weeks had passed, the wound did not heal. Instead, it grew deeper in her heart. Her life still belonged to him; her dreams were still haunted by him, and yet... and yet she would not acknowledge that he was ever there.

Yue saw this, and confronted it. "Your heart still grieves, Mistress, over the Master Xiao Lang... and yet you insist that the Master was never really here with you." The Moon Guardian froze when he saw her eyes turn to ice, but for the sake of the other magician whom he'd come to respect, he continued to speak to Sakura. She had turned away to face the garden. "How many times has Xiao Lang been with you when you needed him? Comforted you when you were sad? Protected you when you were in danger? Smiled with you when you were happy? How many times must he be there to convince you he was real? Mistress?" For a long moment she did not speak, and when she did, Yue realized that if there was something his Mistress believed in, he too would believe, and if she lost faith, he too, would lose his faith as well. She had that kind of power with her words... and with her soul.

"My friends were there whenever I needed them; they were there to help me, to support me, to make me laugh when I wanted to cry. It was not Xiao Lang who greeted me with a smile every morning, even if it was raining outside." She caught a falling cherry blossom in her hand. "My brother, my father... they were the ones who comforted me when I was sad. They were the ones who told me to smile, even when the world around me was falling. It was not Xiao Lang who held my hand and gave me strength as I grew." She held her hand out over the water, and watched as the wind picked the blossoms from her hand and scattered them. "You two, Kero and Yue, were the ones who protected me through all these years. Wherever I went and whatever trouble I got myself into, it was not Xiao Lang who came to my side. It was you who saved my life so many times." The hurt inside her was fading as she spoke. "And it was Tomoyo who smiled with me, laughed with me, and cried with me. She was there beside me since I was just a child; we celebrated and grieved together, sharing our joy and our pain. It was not Xiao Lang who shared with me every moment of my life, happy, or sad, or frightening. Tomoyo was my best friend."

"And Xiao Lang's name means nothing? Why do you deny him? Why do you push him away, saying he was never there?"

"Perhaps it eases the pain," the Mistress answered, and silently repeated, 'perhaps it eases the pain; now that he is not here there is comfort in believing he never was...'

_Suddenly, she was twelve years old again, sitting on the penguin slide, a little yellow creature unceremoniously devouring a can of pudding in her lap. The sun was warm, the wind was gentle, the air smelled of sweet spring rain, and she smiled..._

"_Sakura!" A voice so familiar was calling out to her, and her eyes jumped to search the park below. "Sakura? Where are you?" The voice was so familiar... so real. But who was it? Her heart knew, but she did not. The voice continued to call. Was it Tomoyo? No, the voice belonged to a male. Her brother? Her father? No, it was not them either. She turned to ask Kero, but the tiny winged beast had fallen asleep. "Sakura?" With a smile, she left Kero by her bag and climbed down from the slide. She needed to know who it was that called her._

"_I'm over here!" she answered, gliding around the penguin slide to where she'd heard the voice last. "Hoe?" Alas, there was no one there. "Where did you go?" The clouds had gathered, and a chill ran up her spine. Perhaps it was time to head home, she thought, and climbed the slide again to fetch the sleeping Kero. But he was not there. _

"_Sakura," the same voice whispered, fading as the winds carried her name away. She looked around again, but whoever had called her was not there. She was alone._

The Guardian took a step forward towards the Mistress, but Yue stopped him from moving farther. "She sleeps, Keroberos. Let her dream; perhaps she shall find peace." In the other world she felt more strongly the confusion... the frustration.

"_Where did you go? Don't leave me alone."_ The Guardians left their Mistress to sleep, and in that instant, the essence of her dream changed. _"Xiao Lang."_

_She glanced into the distance and knew they were not finished. Like the morning and evening stars, on the horizon appeared two points of light; one fierce and golden like a fiery sun, the other pale and shimmering like the radiant moon..._

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You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

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"We have only just begun! You will not have the Cards!" In mere moments Xiao Lang and Mandetsu both knew Sakura's words were true.

"Sakura!" The winds that preceded their coming blew fierce enough to knock Mandetsu deep into the skies. But with a thunderous roar, he returned to face the Guardians who now stood by their Mistress's side. "You cannot have the Cards; they belong to our Mistress," Yue hissed, and silver arrow he produced in his hand. It struck the dragon with enough force to send him back, and Keroberos, the ruby jewel on his crown glowing, released the power of the midday sun, bringing the beast to the ground. They battled at the side of the Card Mistress and the magician Xiao Lang, but the hours of night wore on.

"Enough of these games," Mandetsu hissed, and rose into the clouds. It was then they realized that the dragon's coils drew power from the raging storms above them. No matter how strong their magic was, Mandetsu could always become stronger. Their fight was becoming a futile one. But Sakura would not give in. She would not allow the Cards to fall into the hands of this magician. Clow had fought and defeated this same beast so long ago to protect the magic he'd created. Now she would do the same.

"This is it," she whispered. "This is where it ends." Mandetsu watched, intrigued and amused that this girl had so much power to fight him. They realized that they could not win, but still, the girl fought. His glowing eyes fixed mesmerized on the magic unfolding before him. The auras of the two Guardians were merging with the girl's staff, and soon they disappeared. The magician boy's aura, a deep, determined green, wrapped around the girl's pink one. She looked up at the dragon with dark, unswerving eyes, her aura burning bright enough to light the sky, and Mandetsu could feel the energy resonating from her. "It is over, Mandetsu. You've lost. This is where it ends."

The dark magician returned to human form, the essence of the dragon's power remaining within him. His eyes widened when he saw the seven cards Sakura held in her hand. "What is it you plan to do?" he mocked, but inside he was afraid. The determination in the girl's eyes told him she would not lose. No, she would not lose.

"Just watch and see," answered Xiao Lang's voice from behind the Mistress. He held his hands, too, upon the staff, willing his magic into it. "We will not lose."

Sakura's eyes met Mandetsu's, and the final dance of fate had begun. "Windy! Water! Fiery! Earth! Light! Dark! And Hope!"

"What are you doing?!" the magician cried, as the six elements released from their card form and bound together in the air, secured by the power of Hope. Together, the seven cards coiled around Mandetsu, drawing their energy from Sakura's star, from the other cards, from the Guardians, and from Xiao Lang. The dark magician screamed, and at last he was defeated. In a brilliant storm of magic, he disappeared, leaving nothing of him in the living Earth's realm. But he was not going to lose everything again. Through the silence of their victory, Sakura heard a deep, haunting laughter surround her. The voice belonged to Mandetsu. "I will not go alone into the shadows this time," he hissed, and Sakura strained to find his aura. To defend herself from it. Yes, this time, Mandetsu would not go silently alone into the dark.

"Sakura!" She heard Xiao Lang's voice call out to her, but the strike had been launched. With a cry, she closed her eyes and plunged into the black abyss. Darkness surrounded her and she gave way to exhaustion—to sweet unconsciousness. Xiao Lang's voice did not call to her again.

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These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just to much that time cannot erase

-----------------------------------------------------------

Sakura awoke from her slumber, but the moon still hung in the sky. No more than an hour had passed, and the night, in many eyes, was still young. 'That battle', she thought to herself, 'is where the truth lies... when we fought...' She remembered.

"_Just watch and see," answered Xiao Lang's voice from behind the Mistress. He held his hands, too, upon the staff, willing his magic into it. "We will not lose." _

'He said 'we'...' The Mistress touched her heart then, wondering if she could continue to believe what she wanted, or if she would fall to what her heart wanted. There was something she longed to hear. Something she needed to assure her that she'd not been alone all these years. Something that was no longer there. His voice.

"_Sakura!" She heard Xiao Lang's voice call out to her, but the strike had been launched. With a cry, she closed her eyes and plunged into the black abyss._

"He did not call out to me again. When I awoke he was not there. He was never there." It hurt inside her again, but there was no way to ease the pain. Keroberos stepped into the courtyard, his powerful paws making only the slightest sound against the path.

"Sakura, you've woken." He walked to the pond's edge, the tips of his golden wings trailing in the cool water. She answered him with silence. "Mistress..."

"What happened after?" she suddenly asked, and Keroberos understood the question. "Tell me again what happened after."

"Mandetsu did not want to disappear into the dark alone. He wanted your power with him; he sought to capture your soul."

_The strike was launched, and Sakura's power was too exhausted to carry on. "Sakura!" Xiao Lang grabbed her and pulled her back, and she plunged down between the buildings into Yue's awaiting arms. The magician boy had thrown himself into her place, a desperate attempt to save the Card Mistress from a fate worse than death. Keroberos watched in horror, his eyes locked onto the scene in place of his sleeping Mistress's. Mandetsu's darkness, like a deathly claw, reached from the realm beyond, shrouding Xiao Lang in shadow. "Sakura!" The magician's final scream was silenced as his aura was engulfed. Keroberos cried out to Xiao Lang, on rushing wings he flew to pull him from Mandetsu's grasp, but where he'd stood in place of Sakura there was nothing. Where he had been was an empty void._

_Yue watched Keroberos' failed attempt to save the Master, the Mistress still unconscious in his arms. His silver wings carried her back to Li's Temple, and Keroberos, taking one last glance at the emptiness of where Xiao Lang had stood, followed at Yue's side into the night. He had failed Sakura—not by failing to protect her, but by failing to protect her heart. With sad eyes he looked down at Sakura and murmured his apology. He knew when she awoke that she would be alone. Yue did not speak a word._

"Alone then, I was when I awoke," Sakura ended, summoning silence again. She closed her eyes.

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When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

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She sat on the beach, watching the waves roll onto the shore beneath the midday sun. The air was cool and crisp, and in the distance, she could smell the spicy smoke of a barbecue. The seagulls called to each other as they soared beneath a cloudless summer sky, and behind her, there was laughter.

"Sakura, come and play!" Chiharu called, holding up the beach ball when Sakura turned around. Naoko, Reeka, and Tomoyo waved.

"Coming!" In an instant she was on her feet, and the game began. The bright plastic colours reflected the sun as it flew back and forth between the group of girls who laughed as they chased it across the sand. "Oh, look out!" Sakura cried when she hit the beach ball a little too far. It landed with an affable thud on the head of a raven-haired boy. Yamazaki turned around, with one finger raised in front of him in story mode, and Chiharu sighed.

"Did you know?" he began. "That beach volleyball was a sport that originated in Hawaii?"

"Here we go again," Chiharu muttered, and Reeka giggled.

"Really?" Sakura asked a grinning Yamazaki.

"Yes, but back then, they used to play using coconuts, and soon it was outlawed because too many people were getting hurt." Sakura was believing it all, and everyone around her sighed. Yamazaki grinned as Chiharu grabbed him none too gently by the ear and pulled him across the sand.

"That's enough, you," she told him. "Take your story-telling elsewhere while we play."

Sakura's eyes widened. "Hoe? It was just a story?" Everyone laughed as they continued to play their game.

The sun was setting and Sakura was left alone on the beach. The salty air mingled with the remaining smell of bonfire smoke, creating a pleasant scent. She sat in the sand watching the waves until she realized it was time to head back to the camp. With one last glance out onto the water, she stood up and turned inland, weaving her way through the trees and onto the path that led to her cabin. It was dark when she reached the bridge.

"Sakura?" A voice called out to her, and she turned around. "Sakura?"

"Who's there?" she asked, and a shadow slipped between the trees.

"Sakura?" The voice came from the other side of the bridge. There was someone standing there, someone she knew... Someone whose voice she had to remember. He turned to face her, but the moonlight was behind him, and his face was in shadow.

"I know you," she whispered.

"Sakura." She blinked once and the person had disappeared. She was alone on the bridge. She had searched for most of the night, needing to know whose voice it was that called her, but no one was among those trees. She returned to her cabin, but it was empty. Her friends were not there either. And so she continued to search for someone... anyone. Summer turned to autumn, but still she could find no one. The leaves coloured beautiful shades of red and orange, and the warm winds turned cold, but still no one came.

"Where did you go?" she asked and waited for a reply. "You're alone," she told herself when no one answered. "You have been all this time."

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I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

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The snowflakes were falling, gathering on the ground and swirling about like tufts of cotton candy. The cold nipped at her nose and cheeks, but she was smiling nonetheless. The snow crackled beneath her boots, and she pulled her cloak tighter around her as she walked home. It was already dark, and the street lamps had come on, turning the already glistening streets of Tomoeda into a fairytale world. She hummed to herself lightly as she thought of the joy that would be plastered on Kero's face when he saw the Christmas treat she'd brought home for him. In her bag was a box of Tomoyo's homemade sweet rolls.

"He'll be so happy," she mused to herself as she half-walked, half-skipped down the street. "Tadaima!" she called as she opened the front door. She stepped onto the foyer, but no one answered her. "Dad? Touya? Are you home?" Seeing the living room and kitchen empty, she assumed that they were still out. She climbed the stairs to her room. "Kero? I brought you a treat today! Tomoyo sent them with her Christmas greetings!" Her smile faded as she realized that her room, too, was empty. "Where did everybody go?" she asked, but the house remained silent.

Suddenly, there were footsteps downstairs. "Sakura?" a voice called. "Sakura, are you home?"

She raced downstairs. "I'm coming!" The kitchen was empty, and so was the living room. She ran into the foyer. "Who's there?"

"Sakura," he whispered once more, but when she blinked he was gone. In an instant, she threw open the front door, hoping to catch sight of the person who'd called for her. She recognized the voice, and yet she did not. It was like she didn't want to. It had stopped snowing when she gazed out onto the street.

"Where did you go?" she whispered, but the night remained silent. "Don't leave me alone."

And as the night grew older, the essence of her dream changed again.

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When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

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Before her the image of the dragon magician disappeared into shadow. She was tired, but at least the fight was over. She'd been able to protect the cards. She remembered the dark laughter she heard as she slowly lost consciousness. Something was wrong.

"_Sakura!" She heard Xiao Lang's voice call out to her, but the strike had been launched. With a cry, she closed her eyes and plunged into the black abyss. Xiao Lang's voice did not call to her again._

"Where did you go?" she cried out in frustration. Sakura's eyes flew open, the dream cast into memory, and she stood, aware but uncaring of the Guardians' presence. "Don't leave me alone... Xiao Lang."

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All of me...

All of me

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"Sakura," Keroberos mumbled softly, "what plagues your dreams each night?" But in his heart he knew the voice that haunted her still.

"Memories," she sighed, and she continued to gaze into the water, watching the moon's reflection shimmer. "There is nothing I can do but remember," she whispered, "...and hope that someday, one day, I will find him again."

"Sakura..." She turned around to face Keroberos, her emerald eyes dark and unwavering. There were no tears. The Guardians watched as the Card Mistress summoned the staff and took flight upon Fly's wings. The feathers danced on bitter winds as she reached for the clouds. "Sakura! Wait!" Keroberos spread his own golden wings, aiming to take flight and pursue, but Yue, beside him, did not move. Instead, he remained on the ground, watching silently, and Keroberos understood. Sakura was leaving Hong Kong, but she did not intend to return to Japan, and she did not wish to be followed.

"She forces upon herself with her mind that what she once knew never existed," Yelan whispered, laying a hand on Yue's shoulder. She had been watching and listening from the courtyard doors. "But her heart longs for truth. That is what she has gone to seek."

The Moon Guardian turned his sad eyes to face the mother of Xiao Lang. "But what shall she uncover if her eyes are blinded by her loss of faith?"

"Seeing is not with the eyes or the mind, but with the soul," Yelen answered. "She will search every universe, every realm, for the truth she has hidden from herself. And when she finds the voice she seeks, she will be at peace... and perhaps she will return with the little wolf." In her eyes both Yue and Keroberos saw the grief she carried, at the loss of her son, and her daughter, as well. Yes, in Yelen's eyes, Sakura was her daughter... the Mistress of the Li Clan; the one who captured Xiao Lang's heart.

"Perhaps she will," Keroberos and Yue breathed together. Silence descended on them then, and all three looked up to watch Sakura's flight against the ivory moon. When she finally disappeared, hidden by the shadows of night, they continued to watch the starlit sky, remembering her sad words and hoping that she would be alright—that she would find the truth she'd hidden and return with it one day. Until then they would wait for their Mistress.

"It was all an illusion. Xiao Lang was never with me..."

"I've been alone all along."

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**Author's notes:**

Ta-da! takes a bow Was it pointless? Yes. Was it repetitive? To a certain extent. Was it bizarre? Sort of. But at least I liked writing it. ;) Sad, ne? This was my first CCS fic, and of course it HAD to be angst. Please RxR. I know it made no sense, but plz humor me! :) Hehehe.

Luv u guys

Cat


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